Across the Pond
by 2ndbestdetective
Summary: An ice Queen, and a clown prince. what could have brought them together? (Not in that sense. rated teen just to be sure, might continue this, might not load of OC's)


The lights in the room were flickering, again. The power in this place was a joke. He should know, he uses it to his advantage enough, one quick jolt from a concealed joy buzzer into a live fuse box and BANG! Lights out (along with the electric fences and spot lights) but that's not the problem at the moment he tells himself. No the problem at the moment is that he has a visitor. Which is odd as the last time he had a visitor it was old tall, dark and brooding and that ended in yet another round of Bat and mouse. The door opened and in walked a blond lady with legs that went so far up even his main squeeze would be jealous, well more than usual.

'Well, If I'd known that the company I'd have thrust upon me would be so elegant , I'd have combed my hair, of course the last time I did that, it somehow got tangled into some poor fella's wind pipe' he let out one of those customary 'sin giggles' as he likes to call them.

'Aren't you the comedian' she said. Her British accent cutting through like Ice.

'Oooh! I haven't had a Brit chick for a while.' More chuckles.

'I'm here with a proposition for you Mr. Napier'

'How cute' He added with a sinister glare 'You actually think that my real name' At this he burst out laughing.

'So you would prefer Mr White? Or how about Mr Joe Kier? Ether, way my employer needs-

'Now look hear toots. I'm nobody's lap dog, and besides Don't you think. That HA.. these guards… hehehe. WON'T TRY TO STOP YOU!? HAHAHAHAHA!' this laugh was so hard he almost fell off his chair backwards

At this she smirks and gives a nod. The two guards leave and exit the door leaving one left over who, ever so nicely places the barrel of his gun in the back of the prisoner's neck, he's not laughing now, in fact he's almost fuming, he doesn't take being treated like a fool lightly

'Congratulations' A raised eyebrow as the blinking light on the camera goes out. 'You've made my too kill or maim list'

'My employer needs you for a job that requires your special talents.'

'I do make a mean cyanide pie, the trick is to get the amount of apple just right-' the sound of the hammer being pulled back stops him, so not an automatic, bit odd but he can work with that.

'There Is someone causing my employer quite a bit of bother, in the last 3 weeks busses has become problematic' Ice hoe (as she shall now be known)sat ridged as she spoke, as if someone had shoved a wooden pole down her back, but it was more than that he tells himself, He just hasn't figured what yet.

'Say I agreed to this little… offer. What do I get out of it?' He inches closer as he say's this, invading personal space, strands of his hair dangle like worms over his forehead. Her reaction is stone cold, nothing. Not a sense of emotion cross's ice hoe's face.

' The chance to cause uncontrolled havoc, all the best hardware you could ask for, and your name on the global screen'

'I do like a captivated audience, but no. My talents are for HIM and him only, I am a one man guy I'm afraid, cheating would not sit well on my conscience' THERE! That slight smirk she just did, that's all the emotion he needs.

'However I can tell you know all about philandering. You do it yourself am I right? Or rather did. Against your will of course but still, much to young , much to young' He giggles at this, it may be all bull plop but it works, that slight gulp she just did. He must admit, she is fun to play with maybe he will give her a chance.

'This is a far worthier opponent I assure you.'

That's it, now he is mad, the only thing stopping him from throttling her is the gun pointed at the back of his neck, speaking of which, the chair is kicked into the guards gut, winding him, the gun points to the floor and in a blink of an eye, the small short barrel revolver is in his hand, and emptied into the guards head. Now he turns to Ice hoe and dose what he does best. Laugh like a bloody lunatic.

'Sheldon hunt' she chokes, not so Icy now are you?

'I've heard of him. The wannabe Sherlock Holmes? And yet he never wares the hat.' That's an interesting point. If it's one thing he loves, its killing people who think there above average, above him. His mind is made up

'WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!? OF COURSE I'LL KILL HIM!' He throws the gun to the side, bows and offers her his hand, she ignore it and gets up.

'Wonderful, we shall leave at once.'

'How-' An almighty explosion erupts behind them, bricks and mortar and rail fly around them, ice hoe is standing still, calm as a kitten.

'I like your style toots.'

'I suggest we move Joker, the guards will be arriving soon' she strolls out, Joker laughing manically behind her. So All this just to get rid of a sexually confused Brit (well aren't they all?) who is supposedly Britain's answer to Batman, well a more detectivey batman? This was going to be ether really fun Or extremely dull.

AN: Joker owned by DC comics. Well first ever fan fiction, not sure what I'm doing, I'm not even an actual writer and have no dreams of being one. Maybe it's an outlet.


End file.
